The Luis Jimenez Show

A GUY ADMITS TO HAVING SEX WITH OVER 1,000 CARS:

Your garage has probably become a place to store junk. But after hearing this, you may want to clear it out and hide your car immediately.

--That's because 57-year-old Edward Smith of Washington state admits that he's had sex with over 1,000 cars.

--Let me make sure you got that . . . this guy has introduced his male member to over 1,000 automobiles. Most of the cars Ed molested belonged to showrooms or strangers. So Ed is having sex with other people's cars . . . and they don't know it.

--Ed is what you call a mechaphile . . . which means he's sexually attracted to machines instead of women. Ed says he's been this way ever since the Corvette Stingray came out when he was 13 . . . even though he didn't have sex with a car until he was 15.

--There's not a lot of information on mechaphilia . . . so we're not exactly sure what piece of the car Ed inserts his manhood into. We know he's had backdoor relations with a car by lubing up the tailpipe . . . but it's not clear what Ed considers the car's vagina.

--We also know that he likes to violate cars in public by kissing and licking the exterior . . . as well as inserting his fingers into the tailpipe.

--Even though Ed is most attracted to cars . . . he says his most intense sexual experience was making love to the helicopter from the TV show "Airwolf".

--These days, Ed's pretty much settled down with his new girlfriend . . . a white Volkswagon Beetle named Vanilla.